Because. I Just Don't Want To

We are starting to get involved here. I am digging in my heels. A lot. I don't really want to get involved. In anything.

I've been put on the schedule to help out with Sunday School at church. Not often. Just once in a while. Do I have to? Apparently.

We had another family over for dinner for the first time since moving here (with the exception of out of town company that we already know). It was fine. My heart wasn't really there. I grumbled inside the whole time I was cleaning the house in preparation for the "big night". I just didn't want to do it.

We've joined a "Connect Group". This is a new name for Bible Study, I think. We do follow a study that is based on God's Word, but there is much more emphasis on connecting with other people and building relationships. I'd rather not connect or build.

I think I just want to kind of hang out with only my family for however long we live here - even though we're planning to be here for the next 25-30. Pretty much a life sentence, if ya look at it that way.

I'll let you in on why. Don't tell Barry. He just won't get it.

I'm tired.

I've moved over and over and over. Every time it's hard. Every time I eventually make some wonderful "I don't know how I ever lived without this person" friends.

Then we move.

Again.

The friends that are truly "keep forever" friends, I do keep forever. But now it's bittersweet.

These kinds of friends are few and far between. It takes years to find them, and now they don't come for coffee on a Wednesday afternoon. Now my heart lights up when I see their number on the call display. I pour one cup of coffee, I drink my coffee and dust my house while we chat.

Then I cry after we hang up.

My heart is tired.

I don't want to put out the effort to get to know all these new people. I already have friends that I love. The problem is that they don't live in Didsbury.

I know that it would be good for me to make friends here. I know that I can still keep all my wonderful friends even if I make new ones. I just don't want to. Because.

So, when are you moving to Didsbury?

Dribbles and Drabs

• In honour of the movie "P.S. I Love You" I will use green text for this post. I think I might be addicted to that movie. Barry rented it for me when I was sick. I loved it. I think maybe too much. I didn't want to take it back. I cried, and cried, pretty much the whole way through, but I still found the whole movie pretty much charming.
• Matt has been waking up at weird hours. One night he'll wake up at 3:00 and have a hard time getting back to sleep (which means we're all up). The next night, he'll wake up at 6:00. Then he'll sleep until 8:00...he goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 every night!! No idea what the deal is there. It needs to end, though.
• Dixie has no idea that she is actually a dog. She's such a suck, and I let her be. I don't make her do any of the things that I made our Cola do. Dixie doesn't have to stay on the entrance mat, or sleep outside. I don't even have it in me to take her to the kennel. We're going away for Christmas and I've made arrangements for a friend who fosters dogs to look after her. Cola had to deal with the barking masses at the kennel. Dixie got new food the other day. I mixed it with her old kibbles so that the transition would be easier on her tummy. I came home at lunch today to find all the new kibbles gone from her bowl, and all the old kibbles on her place mat under the bowl (yes, she has her own pink place mat).
• Matthew now loves riding the bus. He asked me if he really had to get off the bus and go to school. He'd really rather just ride the bus all day, and then come home, and sort of skip the school part. Dear Lord, help me, it has occurred to my kindergartner that he'd like to cut class!
• That's the long and the short of the news, will post some pics soon so that you can actually see what's been going on.

Love and hugs,

Laura

Are We Sick Enough For Jell-O?

Our household is sick. All of us. At the same time.

It's been a steep downhill slide here ever since we got home from holidays at the beginning of September.

Barry led the pack with one day that he actually stayed home from work - almost unheard of for him. He thought he recovered quickly.

I tried to be a trooper on Monday and in I went to work. My co-workers took one look at me and sent me home. Bless them.

Barry now looks (and feels) like the walking dead.

Matt is all stuffed up too, poor little guy. So much that we actually tried doing sinus rinse on him this evening. For those of you who have no idea what that is - just think about the name. Mmm Hmmm.

When I was a little girl, if we were really really sick and it hurt to eat because your throat was so sore, you got to pretty much live on Jell-O. We used to ask Mom, "Are we sick enough for Jell-O?"

I think our whole family is sick enough for Jell-O.

I'll be back once we've recovered.

Stay tuned...just in case we don't recover.

Londyn

On our way home from holidays we had the wonderful privilege of stopping in Sparwood to visit a new family. Stephanie (and Dave) now have a beautiful baby girl - Londyn Julia Freheit.

I had forgotten how sweet and cuddly, and tiny new babies are. It was so nice to hold her while she slept and listen to the little baby sounds she made.

Steph is a great little mom; handling the feedings and changings and burpings, and changings very much in stride. Dave, like most dads, is quite smitten with his little girl, and is really enjoying her a lot as well.

Matt took his responsibility as an uncle very seriously, and made sure she was (at all times) covered with a blanket if she was not being held. He also gave her a bottle and sang songs to her. Very cute!!

Have a wonderful weekend all!

It's Over

Hi all,

Thank goodness!

We got a phone call from the bus driver.

They have added the stop near our house.

The wonderful neighbour will not have to be inconvenienced and Matthew will not be damaged by my attempts to home school.

God is good.

It's Not Over Yet

So, with my wonderful neighbour offering to pick up Matt, I think that all my transport woes are solved. Think again. She's willing to pick him up from the stop that is near our house, because it's convenient....I received a phone call tonight saying that they haven't got a stop there this year.

Here's the strange thing. The phone call I got from the transportation department said that he would be picked up at the stop across the street. The bus driver who phoned me to confirm that Matt should indeed be riding the bus said that the message on her answering machine stated that he had been added to her route, and that he would be picked up at our stop.

However, she is not scheduled to stop there anymore. She stops at a different point about 5 more blocks away. Suddenly not so convenient for my neighbour. And the worst of it?? I had to give the vice principal at the public school an answer today, and since it wasn't until 8:30 tonight that I found out the bus stop had moved, I told her "Thank you so very much for your kind and generous offer, but the busing issue has been resolved, and he can stay at his current school."

Oh my goodness!! I'm just about ready to pull him out of school and home school him on Saturdays. If we worked hard enough we could do it, right?

Well folks, for some reason I'm suddenly feeling very nauseous, and I think I'll take myself a sedative and go lie down.

I'm trusting that I will post wonderful news tomorrow that this has all been resolved.

Pray hard.

It's Only Tuesday??

Oh, my goodness!


What a week! And it's only Tuesday.



So, here's the low down:



Today was Matt's first day at kindergarten (will post a picture soon - having some computer issues). We have him registered at a Christian School that is out in the country a little ways from our town (only about 5 or ten minutes, so not really that far).



However, any distance that takes 5 or ten minutes to drive means that it is not within "walk to and from school" distance. Matt will be a "bus kid". Last spring when we were filling out all the forms to register Matt for school, we filled one out to register him for the bus route. The bus would apparently leave at 8:10 and return at 4:00. Perfect. I can put him on the bus in the mornings and still be at work on time. As far as after school - Matthew was going to ride the bus to Olds with a little girl from his class whose mom runs a day home (they go to our church - this is how I know the family and managed to make the connection - day homes are not easy to find around here!). I would pick him up in Olds after work twice a week - a little bit of driving, but not the end of the world.



Guess what??!! The school district will not allow Matt to ride the bus to Olds. The rule is "kids who come from Didsbury go back to Didsbury." Aaaagghh! When I was speaking to the transportation department in the spring I asked if he could ride the bus to a different stop. They told me that "yes" - as long as he's on a scheduled route getting off at a scheduled stop he can ride the school district's bus. I took that at face value. What was I thinking?



So now, here we are, with Matt registered in a school that he has actually gone to once - so he thinks that's his classroom, and he thinks that Mrs. Abel is his teacher, and that Mr. Brown who gave him jelly beans today is the "prince" of the school....and my poor little boy is going to be sent home on a bus with no one at the other end to meet him!!!! This is not okay. This is how kids end up on the milk carton.



Okay, so I calmed down and I phoned the public school down the street. I am miraculously able to speak to the vice principal on week two of classes. They have 3 kindergarten classes - the two day a week classes are full, however, she would be willing to place him in her class that she teaches (five days a week, mornings only). However, I would then need to permanently and without any flexibility or lee-way change my lunch hour to 11:30 -12:30 so that I could pick him up and take him to day care. I'm not entirely sure that would truly be feasible with my job. My employer and co-workers would be super supportive, but let's face it, reality hits - daily, and it's not always possible to leave the office at that specific time each day.



Then, enter the wonderful neighbour lady who works at the public school, and who has a son a year younger than Matt. They play together every evening until we drag them in for baths and bedtime. She has graciously offered to pick Matt up from the bus so that he can still go to the Christian school and he won't end up on the Missing Child poster.

Thank goodness!

On that note, time for me to sign off and simmer down.

Matthew

Hello all,

You probably think I'm dead and gone, it's been so long since I've blogged.

My boy turned 5 a while ago. Wow. He starts kindergarten on Tuesday. How did this happen? When I tickle Matt's tummy and ask if my baby Matthew is still in there he gleefully smiles at me and tells me, "I ate him." At least he's in there somwhere.

It's been a busy summer, full of coming and going, working and playing and seeing family.

I'll update you in greater detail later, but this post is about Matt.

Where to begin. Matthew means gift from God. And he is. I have been pregnant 4 times, and I have one beautiful, wonderful, kind, loving, generous and gentle little boy.

He was so worth it. I won't go into the details, let's just suffice to say that my first one wasn't your "ordinary" miscarriage. There were surgeries involved, diffucult diagnosis, and at one point, the doctor actually told me, "We don't know exactly what's wrong, but you need to wrap your mind around the fact at that the end of this, you won't have a baby." It was weeks after the pregnancy had ended that it actually really hit me and I can remember so clearly the ache that filled my chest and choked my throat for days. I remember the feeling of exhaustion after many, many nights of long cries. I was terrified to try again. Thanks to God, I did.

I think what has hit me the hardest in the past few months as I try to accept the fact that Matt is big enough to do jumps on his bikes (yes, it was a very short while ago that I posted about the training wheels coming off - and now he's going over jumps!), do a front flip on the trampoline (oh my gosh!!) and add in his head at the dinner table, is that he just knows, so deeply that he is able to assume it - that I love him soooo much.

We were on our way to a store in Penticton, and I sat in the back seat next to him. He says to me, "Mommy, why are you in the back?"

"Why do you think?"

"'Cause you love me so so so much."

"Matt, you must stay right beside me while we cross the parking lot. Do you know why?"

"Because you love me so much and the stealers will get me if I don't say close."

(Yes, I have taught my son about the people who steal children).

HOWEVER, the moral of the story is that he knows I love him. AND the happy ending is that I have him to love.

More updates to come, but for now, goodnight.

Loves,

Laura